Some Form of Normalcy

It's been a long time since I posted here; I hadn't realized how much I've neglected my little piece of cyber space. Although some photos have been posted, I haven't quite finished with all of that, but life at home has been busy and hectic at times-- too many things to do and the days seem to just whiz on by.
Since getting home we have moved to a larger living space. The move itself was exhausting-- I'd been in my apartment for 11 years and had accumulated alot of "stuff", and packing involved going through boxes I hadn't looked at in ages. It was quite a trip down memory lane for me, but it was also an emotional test for my deeply ingrained pack-rat mentality to throw unnecessary items away.
I put all of our work-related things into a large box-- everything we had with us on the truck. It's called, appropriately, the "FedEx Box" and we will keep it safely tucked away until the day comes that we're ready to roll again.
I know it will be awhile before that day comes. Jeff is enjoying spending quality time with his kids again, and I've begun bonding with my little niece. Amazing that she will celebrate her first birthday in early December. When I left for the road, she was just learning how to giggle. Now, she laughs. Alot. And if she's not laughing, she's at least grinning-- a huge, open mouthed grin that provides her an opportunity to show off four baby teeth. I don't think I've ever seen a happier baby.
It is good to be home.
And at the same time, it's strange to be home...
I have all my on-the-road photos put on the computer as a slide-show. I catch myself looking at them sometimes, and while I know where they were all taken, it almost seems surreal to me now that I was even there. Were Jeff and I really driving across the country? It seems like a lifetime ago. I was watching TV the other night, and it was some documentary that had taken place in Waterbury CT. The camera panned an aerial view over the city and I totally recognized it, and then at the same time wondered if I really HAD been there?
That happens alot. Watching TV and they mention some city far away, and I tell my son, "I've been there!"
I was listening to Armstrong and Getty this morning-- a great radio talk show here in Sacramento. The subject was about how people born into poverty are so locked in to it they never realize they can live their lives differently. They just accept that poverty will always be their way of life. And Armstrong was talking about how, in his own younger life, he never realized he could travel. He knew other people did it, but he never entertained the idea that HE could. It's an abstract psychological thought process really-- I could relate to what he was trying to say. When I was younger, I thought about becoming a flight attendant. But because I couldn't SEE myself on a jet, flying to exotic points around the world, I never pursued it. Instead, I wandered through life, working at meaningless office jobs and accepting that this was my place.
I remember being 20 and riding in a tractor-trailer for the first time with my brother-in-law Jim. It was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. I remember thinking what a cool job this would be, but I also remember thinking that there is no way I could ever drive one of those things. How crazy for me to even entertain such an idea!
I was bitten by the driving bug at age 20. Still it took me another 20 years to get the courage and confidence to actually get out there and do it.
And I suppose that's part of the reason that the memory of driving around the country is so surreal to me. There is a part of me that still can't believe I was actually out there. Old habits die hard, as they say!
It was a dream of mine to see America in all it's wonder. I've seen more of the country than most everyone I know. Perhaps I should just be happy I did it, and leave it at that?
But I miss the road... and know that someday I'll be back.